I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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