Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we're so committed to being not committed
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
