i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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