And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
