Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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