Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
