Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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