I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
ttyl tear gas
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize