Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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