Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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