i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
