you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
