sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
