and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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