Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
