that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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