we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
