Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
