If i come over, it means nothing
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
