I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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