I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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