so that wasnt chicken after all
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
