i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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