Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
