I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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