She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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