Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
