I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
