..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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