you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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