Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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