You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
