question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
