He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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