I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
nutella sex= disaster
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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