these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
