last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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