So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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