And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
