whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm just crazy horny about you
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
