im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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