My pussy is not your playground.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
