I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
