after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
