I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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