Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
