i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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