What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
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corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
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Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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