At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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