So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
