Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
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My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
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Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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