haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
