Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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