Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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