Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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