Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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