yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
