I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
