i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
