I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
