He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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