we're chasing vodka with high fives
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
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She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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