My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
