He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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