addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
