We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
